why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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