Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
