I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
