i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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