yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
