i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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