he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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