the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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