You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
