I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
