Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
