Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize