so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
