hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
