It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I look better un-naked...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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