Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
