last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize