Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
