i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
