She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
What a dumb baby whore.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
