He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
