do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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