No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
