is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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