Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
