absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Randomize
