none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
