I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
