I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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