sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
