So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
God, I missed his penis.
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