The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
