My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
soo... how was my night?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
