It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize