Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
