she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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