They should really pass out barf bags in church
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
