I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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