is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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