I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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