He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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