Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
