Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
