Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
