Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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