Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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