Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
