At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
