i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
