Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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