my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
