For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
