Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My ATM looks so different sober.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize