So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The beer is more important than you right now.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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