I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
