sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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