She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
