Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
