I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
sarcasm needs its own font
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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