can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
