I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
no, he came in my armpit
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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