oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
