By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
