i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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