im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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