Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
someone owes me an orgasm
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Hippo gnu deer
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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