On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
