P.S. I can't hear my feet
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
