Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
